I Long for the Garden

Original Poem by Tommy Goloboy

I am a winter who longeth for the warm embrace of autumn

A night time burnt by the flame of memories of daylight

The tender sublimation, my solid mind becometh fog

As I try to reconstruct a mem’ry, but nothing comes at all

Just yesterday, I remember the Tree, the garden east of Eden

The mist upon my skin with which I felt the cool embrace of God

Born a man, I die a child, 

I named all of the creatures, yet I could not name myself

Adam, He said, Earth I am to dust I shall return.

What did He mean?

I am a butterfly who longeth for the flesh of caterpillar

When I walked the Earth oblivious, disrobed

You are what you eat, I am the tree of knowledge

Behold, my fruit beareth good and evil

Like the meat of creature, my death becometh life

For sin entered the world through one Man, 

My life becometh death

Yet, thou wouldst do the same if thou would get the chance

Of wet and viscous mud my Father created Man and Woman

The fruit came they of Earth, Obstinate and foolish, he knew they were for sure.

Every tree which bore good fruit available, in sight

Yet, rivers flow with gold and heavens carry water

To dress and keep is a task too narrow for the reckless sight of man

To die free, and spurn my Maker, I reckoned, better than to have never died at all

When my Father told me I was unfit to eat of the fruit which bore His Truth 

The Truth of light and darkness, made of peace and evil

Within my bones I heard a turning, fire felt within me burning

Within my soul I felt a spurning never known before

As I recanted to myself, Shall I surely die?

I fell into a deep sleep, and there I met my other self

I awoke without a rib, yet I found what I’d been seeking

In Her, I unearthed the Love through which the World began

In her light, I saw light, the light of the Father too

Bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh

In the light of Her I’m blinded

More stunning than all Eden, more subtil than the serpent

Her gaze was a dart of flame, a consuming fire, I could not turn away

And naked we were, the Man and his wife, but we were not ashamed

Rage against my Father, how could He keep me from Her?

For what else could Life’s fruit be besides my beloved Lover?

This thought stayed in mine heart, a burning fire shut up in my bones, 

My Eve she’s lost, I cannot find her I’m all alone

I cry, Cursed be my Father, curse this day that I am born!

As I sat there in Paradise, dejected and forlorn

The grace of the Creator is a camp’s fire, 

Warm in propinquity, scalding to the touch

Though that fruit beareth evil, so too doth my heart

Which whispers in a still, small voice: ye surely shall not die

Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven.

I find my Eve she speaketh to the subtil serpent in the field

I incline my ear to listen but deny my heart to hear

And he said to Woman just what my conscience whispered in my ear

That the fruit of Life is knowledge, and that is good, not evil

He vindicates within me a suspicion, now I know for sure

That to my Father in Heaven I was not made to serve

A liar, a deceiver, that He was! it all made so much sense

The accuser cut through all the drivel, 

Why canst I eat of the knowledge of Good and Evil?

The more I ate of other trees, the more ravenous became I

Plump and stout and paunchy, yet never satisfied

The fruit of the Tree, not Eve, not God, 

Was the apple of my eye

I could not honor any One who sayeth, “If you eat of this, you die”

The serpent was my champion, could we really be as gods?

What is this Good and Evil? And why do I want it so?

Good is the Tree of Life, surely must Evil be too

Behold Knowledge, why art thou so pleasant to the eye

I can’t believe that if I feast of you that I shall surely die

And I saw alongside Woman that the Tree was Good for food

When she offered me the Fruit 

She did not need to ask me twice, 

Lost in a haze of ecstasy, lost in the fire of her eyes

And I did eat.

And our eyes were thusly opened, 

It was clearer than before

Free from the fire of my Lord I could be with my Eve forever more

How foolish was the Lord to give unto Man and Woman Mind and Will!

Unto something so naked, so base, 

Though foolish as serpents, they’ve Evil on their face

Evil! Behold it! It eateth up the Good.

Off the back of the high of Knowledge, I realize something wrong

My soul, my heart is Evil, I know it. It’s not Good.

That part of me, the breath of God, now rotten and corrupt

I cannot see the Garden, I can only see my shame

Naked and afraid, I cover up and hide, but it’s all the same

The Woman soweth fig leaves, but I cannot sow back my pride

So haughty and slow-witted! How could I possibly think

That Man could spurn his deity and becometh God instead

What God I was I lost, and so my progeny too

My eyes wide shut, blinded to Love and Grace

For it’s not God’s fault that Man thinks within Creation he can find a hiding place

I hear the voice of my Lord, walking in the garden

The cool breeze of day is freeze unto my bones

And the Garden is too lost to sight, 

I and Woman hide from God’s spirit

Which fills the Garden, the cool mist now burning to the touch

And I hear His voice, shouting, with desperation: Where art thou?

He did not want to see me, I could neither find his face

I did not know! Where am I? Not the garden, but in my hiding place.

I was afraid. I was naked. I hid myself.

Where am I? I responded. And after hearing the deafening silence, I continued

For surely God knoweth more than Man, who was not made to know, 

But to sweat and toil in th’ brow

I cried out: The serpent made me! It’s your fault, Woman’s too!

The Woman weeps, “It's the serpent! I was tricked, I was deceived!”

He told us the serpent you saw was no snake, it was within our hearts and souls

You were not beguiled, you chose to eat and thereby sin

The wages of your acts are owed to the serpent with’n

Who’s cursed to slither and slime, and feed upon the dust of the soul

The serpent cannot feed on dust in the soul of Man qua Man

But only that of the half-creature since the Fall began

The snake was’t not real in Eden, it’s real as Eden now

Woman shall be thine eternal adversary until you find God again

Your progeny will earn the Garden, it shall not be freely given

They shall find the Garden in bruises on head and heel

They shall find it in thorns and thistles

They shall find it in tilling the ground

Though they strive to reach the heavens, until they do they’ll drown

They shall find it in their sorrow, in their sweat, in all of living

Yet, One day they will look around them and find it was best not freely given

To earn Paradise, this is the greatest lot of Man

That is the eternal story since the world began

And finally they shall eat of the fruit of Life and find it not rotten in the bud

As I’m driven out of Eden, I come crashing with a thud

Take these brand new coats and skins, and get the Hell out of my sight

For after cometh morning, always cometh Night.

“​​So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.” (Genesis 3:24)